Sunday, November 19, 2017

Monday is my favorite day of the week

Filed under For Parents

Mondays have become my favorite day of the week. Sure I have to go back to work and the week is hectic, but on Mondays, I can get back into a routine and have some time where it is someone else’s job to occupy my child’s time for a few hours. Parenting is exhausting.

I read all those articles that tell you how using electronic devices as a babysitter ruins your child’s emotional regulation, but I have papers to write! Videos on my phone are one of the only ways I can get any work done. I feel a terrible guilt when I resort to that and try to make it a last choice, rather than a first choice, but sometimes it’s the only way I can focus on school work for any length of time.

I do not know how single parents or stay-at-home parents function. Or parents of more than one child. Everyone says that two is easier than one because then you aren’t the sole playmate for your child, but I cannot imagine going through pregnancy and those infant years (months?) again. That constant vigilance to keep my child alive was more than I could handle.

I love my child and cannot imagine life without him. I have grown as a person in ways I never would have without become a mom. My understanding of love has transformed and blossomed. But I still want time to myself and to just not have to be responsible for another person sometimes. These feelings and thoughts probably aren’t unique to me, but they are not represented on the internet or in conversation very much.

Off to write more papers.